Chapter 2. The Victims.

Source: Internet.
'Stalking Victim's Sanctuary'. http://www.ccon.com/stalkvictim/resources.html
National Victim Center. U.S.A. http:/www.nvc.org

Linkpage.

Reactions of Stalking Victims.

The natural reactions of most stalking victims, however, aggravate the problem and increase the likelihood of violence. Case after case reveals the same patterns.

  • Victims deny the problem, which instantly puts them at a disadvantage.

  • Then they try to bargain with their stalkers, thereby establishing a dangerous precedent of allowing him to control their actions.

  • Anxiety sets in. Never knowing when or where he's going to turn up or what he's going to do next, they can think of little else. They start to short-circuit mentally and emotionally.

  • Exhaustion follows, along with profound depression. Then self-esteem starts to disintegrate.

  • Victims start to blame themselves.

  • Eventually, they get angry, so angry that they're ready to do almost anything to get the stalker out of their life.

  • Finally, they accept what life has become. Only then can they start to deal with the situation objectively.

    The stalking victim, rather than the stalker, is the person whose behavior has to change (since the stalker certainly won't). It's not fair, and most people don't like hearing this. But if you want to protect yourself and your loved ones, it is reality.

    To find out what to do if you become the target of someone's inappropriate and obsessive attention, jump to our tips page. You can regain control of your life.

    A cynical reaction on Internet.

    University of Waterloo Makes Stalking a Problem of the Past.

    Are you being stalked? Or just mildly irritated? Then UW has the answer for you! Enrol in the UW co-op program and frustrate even the most persistent of stalkers. Much better than the witness protection program as you can still keep in touch with your family to ensure financial stability, and sometimes you get good jobs and earn lots of money! Just look at what this program offers:

    • move every four months
    • never have your name listed in the telephone book, and if it is, it's at least a year out of date.
    • make a new batch of friends every four months.
    • if you dye your hair lots, no one will remember you from the previous term, especially if you go by different variations of your real name.
    • and for those real hard cases, change faculties every term!

    Melanie Johnson

    Case.

    Source: Internet. http://www.enclave.org/stalkers/index/html

    'Jury convicts Chinese student of stalking woman'.

    Saturday June 29, 1996. Hang Xie, 27, a graduate student, is sent to jail.

    BY ANNE SAKER, Staff Writer. New York Observer.

    'RALEIGH. Using the state's new but rarely used stalking law, a Wake ounty jury convicted a graduate student from China on Friday of harassing a woman with telephone calls, e-mail and visits to her home for three years.
    As sheriff's deputies took him by his elbows and removed him from the courtroom, Hang Xie, 27, scowled and shook a finger at his accuser. Xie was found guilty of stalking Lisa Baucom since the day they met at N.C. State University in the fall of 1993. She testified that she came to fear that Xie might hurt her.

    Superior Court Judge David LaBarre of Durham sentenced Xie to five days in the Wake County jail and five years' probation. The judge also ordered psychiatric testing.
    'I'm not sure there's anything this court can do to make you understand the word 'no,' " La-Barre said. "I'm not sure how many times you have to hear it before it sinks in.'

    Xie, who was the only witness for the defense, said he fell in love with Baucom and was only trying to establish contact with her, not to frighten her.
    The jury in the case reached accord on every aspect of the case except intent, said Melinda Borden, the foreman. The first vote was 8-4 for conviction; the next two votes were 9-3 for conviction. Three men leaned toward acquittal.

    'We all struggled with the intent element of stalking,' she said. 'When we came back [Friday], we struggled some more. What convinced everyone was the number of phone calls he made to contact Baucom.
    Stalkings more often occur when an ex-spouse or soon-to-be ex-spouse pressures a partner to return to a relationship. Intent is much plainer in such cases.
    'It's especially difficult in a situation like Baucom's, when there was no prior relationship between the man and woman,' said Lucinda Drago, the executive director of Interact, an advocacy organization that runs a shelter for battered women.
    Drago said the General Assembly should consider rewriting the intent clause of the stalking law.
    'The law has been so rarely used that probably some of these questions haven't been discovered,' she said. 'It takes testing in the court system to see what the problems are.'

    Xie enrolled at N.C. State as a doctoral candidate in nuclear engineering. The university suspended him twice for harassing the three women; each time, Xie promised he would leave them alone. Always, he picked up where he left off.
    On Dec. 7, the university expelled Xie, pending a review from Chancellor Larry Monteith. On Dec. 30, Xie went to Baucom's apartment saying he had heardabout a yard sale; the next day, he came to the door with a flier advertising a computer for sale. Baucom does not have a computer.
    Monteith approved the expulsion in January, making Xie's student visa invalid. The government can deport him, but months could pass before authorities get around to him. The Immigration and Naturalization Service has two agents in Charlotte covering the Carolinas.
    The families of the victims are convinced that, as long as Xie remains in the United States, he will find a way to track them down. 'He won't stop,' said Kathleen Brand, whose daughter Jencey transferred to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill to get away from Xie and still he contacted her.
    'He knows where she lives,"'Brand said. 'He's been seen taking pictures into her bedroom window. She is petrified.'

    The jury deliberated for three hours Thursday and one hour Friday before returning the verdict on the misdemeanor appeal from District Court.
    Xie's defense lawyer, Paul Suhr of Raleigh, emphasized to the jury that his client was a stranger in a strange land. Suhr said Baucom, perhaps a little fearful of a foreigner, mis-interpreted Xie's clumsy overtures to friendship.
    But Paul Cousins, the university's coordinator of judicial programs, said that, if it were companionship Xie sought, the large Chinesecommunity at N.C. State could have offered plenty.
    'Most students from different countries and cultures can find a community here if they want to,' Cousins said. '

    Copyright ¸ 1996 The News and Observer Publishing Company, Raleigh, North Carolina